Identifying Abuse

This is the most common form of domestic violence in India, and the most under-reported. It includes:

Physical Abuse

• Hitting, slapping, kicking, or throwing objects
• Choking or restraining
• Withholding food, sleep, or medical care
• Burning, cutting, or injuring as "punishment"

Emotional & Psychological Abuse

• Gaslighting: Making you question your own memory — "That never happened," "You're too sensitive," "You're going crazy."
• Love bombing followed by devaluation: Intense affection early on, then sudden cruelty — a cycle designed to keep you off-balance.
• Constant criticism, humiliation, or name-calling — especially in front of family or children.
• Threats of divorce, taking children, or "ruining your reputation" to control your behaviour.

Financial Control

• Taking your salary, preventing you from working, or controlling all household money.
• Forcing you to sign documents, loans, or property transfers under pressure.
• Confiscating your Stridhan (jewelry, gifts, property) — which is legally yours absolutely.

Dowry Harassment (Dahej Pratha)

• Demands for cash, gold, or property after marriage — a criminal offence under IPC Section 498A.
• Emotional torture or physical abuse to coerce your parents into giving more.
• Threats to send you back or "expose" you if demands are not met.

Isolation from Maika (Maternal Home)

• Blocking calls to your parents, confiscating your phone, or forbidding visits to your family.
• Spreading false narratives to your family so they distrust you and stop supporting you.

Abuse from parents is often invisible because it is wrapped in language of "love," "culture," and "discipline." It is still abuse.

Academic Coercion & Punishment

• Physical beatings or severe emotional punishment for poor exam results.
• Calling a child "worthless," "stupid," or "a burden" as a routine parenting style.
• Withholding food, privileges, or affection based on academic performance.

Forced Career & Marriage Choices

• Threatening to stop funding education if you choose your own subject, college, or career.
• Threatening self-harm ("I will kill myself if you don't marry this person") to manipulate your choices.
• Arranging a marriage for a minor — illegal in India for girls under 18 and boys under 21.
• Social isolation — ending friendships, withdrawing from community — to break your support network before announcing an arranged marriage.

Mobility Restriction & Surveillance

• Locking you in your room or not allowing you to leave the house without supervision.
• Confiscating your phone, laptop, or wallet to prevent you from seeking help.
• Installing tracking software on your phone without your knowledge or consent.
• Reading diaries, checking messages, or questioning you like a suspect about normal social activities.

Gender-Based Discrimination

• Sons are given freedom and resources while daughters are controlled, restricted, and treated as a burden.
• Dowry-related pressure — treating a daughter's existence as a financial liability.
• Dress codes, curfews, and friend restrictions applied only to daughters.

Abuse in teenage and young adult relationships is frequently digital in nature and often not recognised as abuse by the person experiencing it.

Digital Control & Surveillance

• Demanding constant location updates via WhatsApp or Google Maps sharing.
• Requiring screenshots to "prove" where you are and who you are with.
• Checking your phone, reading messages, and demanding passwords.
• Forbidding you from following, liking, or talking to anyone of the opposite gender online.

Digital Blackmail & Threats

• Threatening to share private or intimate photos/videos with your family or online if you break up — this is a criminal offence under the IT Act.
• Threatening to post fake stories about you on social media to damage your reputation.
• Using screenshots of private conversations as leverage to control your behaviour.

Emotional Manipulation

• Self-harm threats: "If you leave me, I will hurt myself." This is manipulation, not love. You are not responsible for another person's choices.
• Jealousy disguised as care: "I'm possessive because I love you." Controlling who you talk to is not love.
• Isolating you from friends by criticising or creating conflict with everyone in your life.

Elder abuse in India is significantly under-reported because parents are reluctant to act against their own children, and because financial abuse is rarely recognised as a crime.

Financial Abuse

• Pressuring or threatening elderly parents to sign over property, transfer savings, or write a will under duress.
• Taking pension or retirement funds without consent.
• Preventing parents from accessing their own bank accounts.

Physical & Medical Neglect

• Withholding food, medicine, or basic hygiene care.
• Refusing to take an elderly parent to the doctor or hospital.
• Denying them a bed, clean clothes, or adequate heating/cooling.

Emotional Abuse & Isolation

• Threatening to throw them out or put them in an "old age home" if they don't comply.
• Preventing them from speaking to other relatives, neighbours, or friends.
• Verbal abuse, insults, and treating parents as servants.

Abandonment

• Leaving elderly parents at pilgrimage sites, hospitals, or railway stations without money or a phone.

Technology has given abusers new tools that are hard to see and harder to prove. Common forms:

• Spyware on shared phones: Apps that secretly record calls, read messages, or track location without your knowledge.
• Shared account monitoring: Abusers who know your email password, iCloud account, or Google account can see everything you do.
• Smart home devices: Doorbells, CCTV cameras, or smart locks used to monitor and control your movements.
• AirTag stalking: Tiny tracking devices hidden in bags, cars, or clothing.
• Non-consensual image sharing: Sharing intimate images without consent — a criminal offence under IT Act Section 66E and 67A.